I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
