like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
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