i may or may not be watching the land before time
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
