all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Four minutes until I can fart!
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
