The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
