yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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