In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I need a beard to bite.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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