if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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