I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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