Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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