I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
