...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
