Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
