u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize