yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
