did you get engaged???
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
