it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
