I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
