This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
