Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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