i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
