When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
