There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
