You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
