I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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