The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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