I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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