Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
