i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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