last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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