I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize