Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
