i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
