$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
