so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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