omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
