I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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