ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I intend to get homeless drunk
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
