I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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