that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
