I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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