The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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