Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
