It was confusing and full of hummus
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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