I feel like I'm in dance class right now
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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