I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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