the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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