I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
