So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
