I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
