He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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