hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
