I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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