How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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