I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
