i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
