We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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