it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
