if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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