my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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